Quitting Your Boss

One of the luxuries of moving every two to four years on active duty is that you get a new boss regularly. Either you move or they move. If you loved your past boss, you have a mentor for life. If you don’t love them, it’s only a matter of time before a new one gets cycled through and you can move on with your life. New ideas and motivation can exhilarate morale or shake the status quo. All in all, it’s not the worst of military processes…or is it? Quitting or waiting out for a new boss is not always possible. The environment and military network at-large do not lend themselves to an organic means of attrition. The workforce organization can consist of more than just military members; it consists of federal employees and contractors. Many variables across the military branches and statuses dictate how we do business which often equates to following doctrine.  There should be times when the military’s business practices regarding command or supervisor progression, transfers, and tenure should be scrutinized more closely. However, this is not usually possible and you must take things into your hands to ensure a better future for yourself.

The first issue at hand is that military members are contracted, not at-will employees. Sure - there is financial and mission security with contracted employees. But what do you do with commanders or supervisors who are not bad enough to court martial, but are poisoning the culture through a series of proverbial papercuts? Then what? It’s not like you can just up and quit. Changing course, asking for help, sounding the alarm, suffering, and working to protect others are various courses of actions you could take in response to a “bad” boss. Regardless of the action you take, you should make it deliberately, weighing the pros and cons of each possible decision and how it could affect your professional, and possibly personal, life.

One option is to attempt to influence the environment from within. This often looks like adjusting how you interact with your supervisor, managing expectations aggressively, and documenting everything. Clear communication, setting professional boundaries, and confirming guidance in writing can reduce ambiguity and protect you if things deteriorate. While this approach doesn’t change the boss, it can change your exposure to unnecessary friction and give you back a sense of control. It requires emotional discipline and maturity (especially when you’re carrying more weight than you should), but it can be a powerful short-term stabilizer.

Another path is to use the formal systems available to you, even though they are imperfect and often intimidating. Inspector General complaints, Equal Opportunity channels, medical or chaplain support, and commander open-door policies exist for a reason. They are not “nuclear options,” despite the stigma that sometimes surrounds them. That said, using these tools requires a sober assessment of risk, timing, and intent. The goal should never be retaliation; it should be accountability, documentation, and protection of yourself and others. Knowing when and how to engage these systems is a skill set every service member should deliberately develop.

A third option is strategic repositioning. This might mean seeking a transfer, changing duty sections, pursuing special duties, applying for schools, or even timing a PCS, PCA, or separation in a way that minimizes further damage. This isn’t running away. It’s recognizing when the cost of staying outweighs the benefit. Strategic repositioning requires you to understand your career timeline, your leverage, and your long-term goals. When done thoughtfully, it can turn a negative leadership experience into a catalyst for growth rather than a career derailment.

 I once inherited a boss who was self-serving, inconsistent, and risk-adverse. This combination didn’t bode well with my motivation for transparency, growth, and dependability. Every time a new hire came on board, this boss was preoccupied that the new hire wouldn’t represent him well which made me question his security and ability to make decisions. I did my best to be a sounding board for those who were also experiencing friction with this guy by providing advice and proverbial protection where I could. But eventually, I realized I was not able to be a force multiplier while serving as the unit therapist. I made my other higher level supervisors know that I was ready to move on. Luckily, I had established myself as a trusted leader who had my PME done. When a new opportunity arose in the unit, I was ready for the transition.

And finally, there is the option of endurance with intent. Sometimes, the most realistic choice is to survive a bad situation while preparing for what comes next. That doesn’t mean suffering silently or normalizing dysfunction. It means protecting your mental health, building a support network outside your immediate chain, and investing in skills, education, and credentials that expand your options for both inside or outside the military. Endurance becomes dangerous when it’s passive; it becomes powerful when it’s paired with preparation. In a system where you can’t always choose your boss, you can still choose how deliberately you respond. Don’t discount all the possible options until scrutinized carefully. If you don’t even know what your options are, ask a mentor, a peer, a civilian, or even ChatGPT. Whatever choice you make when quitting your boss, make it yours and on your terms.