F* Mom Guilt

It feels like anytime I’ve asked a military mom about their kids, they lament that they have missed some sort of event, whether that be school drop offs or a baseball game, shrug and sigh as they say, “Mom guilt.” They sound defeated. When I ask dads about their kids, they beam with pride as they share a recent shared experience or milestone his son or daughter has achieved. 

This boggles my mind. Military moms and dads don’t work less than one another. Yet, when I ask them both the same question about their children, one focuses on the positive even if they weren’t present for it, and the other can’t help but express their pride and joy through a thick and dirty filter of what seems to be shame.

Feelings and emotions are real, and I don’t want to discount them, but my gosh, please see the goodness in the work you do for your children and family. You are performing at a level most will never know. You sacrifice your time for a better tomorrow. You are manifesting selflessness and courage to your children everyday you put on that uniform. If you must feel “Mom guilt,” I hope you feel proud of the decision and oath you took. As a mother of three daughters, being a member of the United States military is the only job that even remotely comes in second to the greatest job of all…motherhood. 

Missing holidays due to deployments, being too tired to cook a balanced meal, and having your kid wear mismatched socks because you missed laundry day will not define your ability to be an excellent mother. You already are. As a member of the military, you innately know what is mission critical. You must balance meeting the objective with the limited resources you have. When you leave the worksite, those skills come with you. Choices must be made and you, undoubtedly, are making the best ones you know how. Own it. Use the time you have with your children to make quality memories and then kiss them double when you embrace them.