Don't Stop Telling Your Military Story

Whether it’s my own adult sisters, neighborhood kids, or white-collar professionals, I have a hard time fully explaining what it is I do in the military. It takes real effort to try and translate my regular everyday title to a civilian equivalent, let alone trying to explain the multiple other parts of the job which are inherent. There is no lack of appreciation when civilians are trying to understand, but really, they probably can’t relate and that’s okay.

I remember my best friend visiting me when I lived in Aberdeen Proving Ground and she asked why I had to….fill in the blank. Why did I have to do physical training so early? Why did I have to travel to Fort Bragg to march in a color guard for a change of command ceremony (what was a change of command was the next question)? Why did I have to sleep in a 20-man tent in the middle of a base with buildings all around me? Why did I have to pull fire guard (again, what is fire guard)? Why did I have to move to South Korea after being on station for only 18 months? And so on.

*sigh*

More recently, during the COVID-19 pandemic, the onslaught of questions from family members and community members continued. Why did I have to go to work when the rest of the world was practically on lock-down? What is it I was doing with local hospitals? Wasn’t I scared? 

When trying to explain the “why” or “what” to civilians, I have to bring a lot of patience, which is, admittedly, my Achilles’ heel. I’m not very patient, well – not on the inside. I have to consciously choose my words wisely to paint an accurate picture, not just produce a spin-off from some movie about war. Not everyone is kicking down doors or having to plan an aerial ambush in the dark of night. 

If I’m not careful and I showcase any glimmer of complaint or inefficiency when giving surface-level highlights of my job, I’m met with a blitz of backseat driver recommendations and commentary. Why doesn’t the military just pay everyone more? Why doesn’t the military just stop moving everyone every two years? Why doesn’t the military just let you order the pens you want from Amazon? You should have joined the Air Force. That would never have happened in the civilian sector. You had to shower in an open bay with ten other people!

*sigh*

Alternatively, when I speak with a veteran, there is less sighing and I feel an increased level of connection. My dad was in the active-duty Marines and then the Guam Army National Guard. Our conversations are quite different. I can use all the acronyms I want and not feel like I need to play verbal defense if a mild complaint pertaining to the OPTEMPO or lack of resources arises. I’m received with head nods, words of encouragement, and “I get it.” 

With the number of new recruits slowly decreasing each year, the number of future veterans  who "get it" does so also. Being a member of the US military is an awesome responsibility. It will not last forever. As time goes by in one’s service to their country, relationships must be cultivated in a manner which will retain the strong and comforting strength often only found through adversity. 

As I write this, I’m reminded to take the time to tell our story. It’s not a perfect story. There are good guys and bad. There are challenges that only those who experienced it can truly empathize with. We must inform the masses, the tax-payers, the everyday Americans who get to live in the land of the free without regard as to how those freedoms are maintained. Tell your story and answer the questions, even if you’re sighing on the inside. I will, too.